From a young age we watch movies and see advertisements and other cultural message that lead us to believe that everything in life is about me. Serious mature dating relationships are often plagued by one or both individuals being too full of themselves. While each one of us is inherently selfish and genetically coded to look out for our own best interest, love is made up of feelings and emotions that make us act in the exact opposite manner as selfishness. Defensive behaviors that serve to protect the selfish nature of individuals are often the cause of many breakups.
While many people struggle to know when they are being selfish in life, the answer is generally quite simple. You are selfish whenever you put your own priorities ahead of someone Else’s. Mature dating is only successful when both parties seek out the interests of their partner before looking to satisfy their own wants and desires. Many individuals may start out with a selfless resolve but become agitated when they feel as if they have not been repaid by the other person for their good deeds. This is still a manner of being selfish because they are only doing kind things for their partner for the betterment of their own self interest.
Do it for love.
The best place to begin a healthy and successful relationship is to base your decisions on your love and affection for the other person. Though this will lead to instances when you may feel as if you are being taken advantage of(and could very well be), it will still allow you to put your heart in the right place and give the relationship the best chance of love possible. In order to develop a real and lasting mature dating relationship, love must be the driving force in caring more about the other person than you care about yourself.
In a relationship, you have to understand that you’re not going to always get your way. One individual is going to have to give up time or wants for the sake of the other person. This is why sacrifice is a key component to selflessness. By being the first to give up what you desire for the relationship, you are proving that you truly care about the person you are with. This leads to their forming a bond of trust with you and to your relationship growing to become strong enough to weather the rough patches of life. You can make sacrifice a second nature by practicing it daily in your relationship.
We all want to have the strongest, longest lasting romance possible, but successful relationship don’t happen by coincidence. In order to develop a mature dating relationship, it requires something to be given up from both individuals. You must take the intentional steps to learning to submit to the will of your partner to create a relationship that works for both people.